Paradox

I find it amazingly freeing as life goes on that things in my behavior I would have justified to myself a few months ago I now see my depravity in and feeled grieved about.

One would think it would feel oppresive to feel depraved in your sin, but it is quite liberating to see your depravity in light of God's holiness. It removes all doubt about the rightness or wrongness of what you are doing or thinking. For anyone who is now thinking, "What in the world are you talking about?", let me give you an example.

Tuesday night, we had our last softball game of the season. I thought the other team cheated by skipping one of their worst batters when there were two outs on the board, the bases were loaded and one of their heavy hitters were up to bat after the batter they skipped. The heavy hitter nailed one to the fence, giving our opponents a four run lead. This allowed the other team momentum that we just never recovered from.

How did this make me depraved? I stayed to watch the team that beat us play the next play-off game for the title against the number one team. I proceeded to have a negative attitude about both teams. I could not be happy for either one of them. I did not want either team to win and could not feel good about a victory for either team because I did not feel either team deserved it. The thing that is so sad about my behavior here is that I don't know for sure that the other team skipped that batter on purpose. I just wanted to win so badly that I wanted them to have cheated so I could feel better about losing. So, I can go on justifying my lack of support for either of those teams, or I can say that I should have genuinely supported one of them or both of them in Christian love. I mean, even if they did cheat, that is not for me to sort out. I am only responsible for my reaction to it.

The thing that is liberating in all of this is that the next time this happens, I will be one step closer. I will be able to recognize it for what it is. The bible teaches where pure thoughts come from and how to recognize them. James 3:14-But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, or the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17-But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

So, being able to recognize when my thoughts are depraved is very liberating, indeed, especially having been given such a perfect plan for redemption.

A humbling Experience

Just back from a trip to New York City to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. We had a wonderful time and saw and did many awesome things. That city is really electric. I can see why they call it, "the city that never sleeps."

I would highly recommend getting away for a weekend with your hubby even if it's just overnight at a hotel in town. It is really good for the soul.

One thing that struck me while I was in the city was the sheer number of people that were in that small amount of space. I have known for a long time that there are billions of people in the world, but it never really hit me how many people that really is until I saw so many people in one place.

It is really humbling to think about how small I am to the world, but how important I am to God. I am amazed by that everyday and I am even more amazed by it now.

The other thing that was really cool was to look and take in the creativity with which God creates us. No two alike! In six billion people. I'm not even counting those who have gone before. I am just awed by that.

Anyway, I guess in this rambling I am trying to say, embrace what you are, love who you are. The most creative of artists sculpted you. The only changes or creative licenses any of us should make are the ones that transform us more into the likeness of the masterpiece Himself, Jesus.

That's Not Fair

As a mom, I hear the phrase, "that's not fair," quite a bit. I expect it from my children. They are, in fact, children. A six year old, a three year old and a 16 month old can be excused for uttering this phrase on a regular basis.

It is when that phrase comes out of my mouth that I start to get a little concerned...(Believe me, it comes out of my mouth more than I would like to admit!)

I love the wisdom that God gave Solomon on this subject though!

The book of Ecclesiastes is where I have been hanging my hat lately. There are some jewels in there. One such jewel that hit me this morning was in Ecclesiastes 8. This passage is so relevant!

The Wicked and the Righteous

9 I have thought deeply about all that goes on here under the sun, where people have the power to hurt each other. 10 I have seen wicked people buried with honor. Yet they were the very ones who frequented the Temple and are now praised[a] in the same city where they committed their crimes! This, too, is meaningless. 11 When a crime is not punished quickly, people feel it is safe to do wrong. 12 But even though a person sins a hundred times and still lives a long time, I know that those who fear God will be better off. 13 The wicked will not prosper, for they do not fear God. Their days will never grow long like the evening shadows.

14 And this is not all that is meaningless in our world. In this life, good people are often treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are often treated as though they were good. This is so meaningless!

15 So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.

All you have to do is look in the newspaper to see this passage happening everyday. Bad things are happening to good people while bad people seem to prosper all around us.

But I love what Solomon says here. Notice it, he says this is meaningless. It is meaningless. I think he is saying to stop worrying about all this, and just enjoy what God has given you. Stop worrying about whether or not He is punishing others or not. God is just! Live your life, do what you should. Enjoy your family! Love what you do. And, whatever, you do, do it all with gusto!

We are all really bad people if you think about it. None of us really deserve the good things that happen to us. None of us deserves the grace that has been extended to us. We are all just bad people who have been redeemed. New life is a gift that has been given all bad people who ask for it!

Anyway, just a thought!

Grace and peace from one redeemed bad girl who has decided that life is more than fair!

Sometimes Mom just needs a couple of hours with the girls to laugh.

Sometimes Mom just needs a couple of hours to herself.

Sometimes Mom just needs a few words of encouragement.

Sometimes, Mom just needs...

the number for Merry Maids. I could sure use some girl time with them right now as I am going to spend today Spring cleaning.

Bet you thought I was going to come out with some philosophical poetic gem didn't you?

Sorry to disappoint! :-)

To everyone Spring Cleaning today...God bless and God speed!

Spring Break

Ok, Spring Break was a blast. We went to the Edventure Museum and the kids had a great time.

Evidence below...

Ok, I'm Listening!

There are times when I find it quite difficult to get my children's attention. The reasons for this are numerous. They can be involved in serious play. (Taylor has such an imagination that I sometimes think she has actually been immersed in the land that she has dreamed up.) They could just not hear me. You know sometimes if they are into a movie or a Leapster game or something like that, they can't hear me speaking to them. Then sometimes they are just plain refusing to listen or ignoring me. This last one is really frustrating to any parent. When you love someone so deeply and know what's best for them, you want them to listen to you because you know that so much heartache can be avoided if they would just listen.

It might interest you to know that I am not and never have been the greatest listener either. (This probably doesn't surprise you at all if you are my mother reading this right now.)

Lately, I think God has been trying to get my attention in a particular situation in my life, and I have been the distracted, stubborn child.

Can you imagine it? God as the mother. First in a normal voice, "Julie, stop that now. I want you to do this." At first, I am just going along so intently that I can't hear Him. Then, a little louder, "Julie, you really need to stop that now. Don't you see that is not what I want for you? Go this way." But, I just keep plodding uphill on the wrong path, totally immersed in the world that I have dreamed up for myself. Finally, through the counsel of godly friends, scripture and a message that I heard on the radio this morning, "JULIE, I AM TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION. YOU ARE POURING YOUR TIME AND ENERGY INTO THINGS THAT ARE NOT WHAT I HAVE IN MIND FOR YOU. PLEASE FOCUS ON THIS INSTEAD. I KNOW WHAT'S BEST."

ooooooooook. I'm listening. Sometimes, like me with my children, God just has to put both of His hands on the sides of my face, turn me gently to Him and make me understand what He is saying to me.

So, there you have it. Sometimes, you can save a lot of heartache, wasted time and energy if you would listen to the small voice rather than waiting for the big one. LESSON LEARNED.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."

Easter 2008